....

im going to be 16 in exactly a week.

just throwing it out there.

but on to more pressing matters....

so theres this guy. and hes basically perfect. and i feel like its DESTINY for us to be together. although i dont know him that well i just FEEL that its going to happen. but its such a complicated thing and i have no idea how to handle it. so heres the story so far:

so the guy, i heard about him a few months ago listening to a conversation a girl that im sorta friends with was having with someone. he sounded really nice and i admit, i was jealous. then later on i was on her myspace page and saw a pic of him on it and he was soooo cute. i mean, RIDICULOUSLY cute. so fast forward to about a month ago, my mom starts talking about these two guys that just started working with her and she thought i would be interested to hear that they were cute and emo, (she knows i have a thing for emo boys). so it turns out that they became friends and everything and my mom started talking about me to them, like a lot. then one of the guys tells my mom that he dated a girl that i probably knew. and it turns out it was the girl im sort of friends with and he was the guy!! so anyways, now we're friends on myspace, him and the girl are no longer going out and everything seems dandy, right? well, no. see, the thing is, i actually have never had a conversation with the guy, eventhough my mom arranged for him and his friend to come to my "surprise" bday party. i want to date him so badly. hes gorgeous and soooo nice! he even told my mom that i was really cute. thats a good sign, right?? so whats the other problem? well, i was just on his ex's myspace and saw that her little "pic of the week" was of him and her!! and i know they arent going out anymore because him and his friend both said that it was a bad relationship and that she was kinda psycho, which is definately true. so thats probably why she still has a pic of him up. but i dont know. its such a weird and complicated situtaion and im trying sooo hard for him to like me and i think he does and i PRAY that he will be able to come to my party because i know if i get the chance to sit down and talk to him, he will see that we're meant to be together. god, i sound like such a schmuck, seriously, this is how i really really feel though. my mom even told him i wanted my lip pierced and then he said that he would pierce it and stuff. and his friend, well he and the guy i like are both going to come to my party and sing to me (theyre in a band together).

GRRRRRR......theres so much to say but its so complicated that all of what i just wrote is so scattered and probably doesnt make any sense. i just dont know what to do. im praying so hard for him and i to finally be a couple. i need him. i really really do.

i hope i can come back to this in a couple months and laugh about how worried i was that we werent going to go out, because we are dating and everything is the way i prayed for it to turn out. i really really hope thats what happens.

xo