Monday, December 31, 2007

new years eve

Something about new years eve always gets to me....I never think back and say, "god, that was an awesome year!" that just never happens for me. Here are some things that did happen....
Went into homeschooling for a semester

Became practically a sister to my cousin

Swam in the poudre

Saw the titanic

Fell in love [it was over before it began]

Obsessed over a guy

Lost him

Cried over him

Hated him

Loved him for letting me experience love for the first time

Saw 5 bands [boys like girls, cute is what we aim for, plain white ts, gym class heroes, fall out boy]

Discovered who I was

Discovered who I wasn't

Was betrayed by someone I considered one of my best friends

Let go of 3 chances at love with 3 amazing guys

Saw one famous person unexpectedly [singer of tickle me pink]

My year in general sucked, 2008 couldn't come sooner....

Sunday, December 30, 2007

its comforting........

its comforting to have a place like this to say what i want to say. too often i feel like i cant be myself. i just want to say what i want and not feel guilty or stupid because of it. im not giving this address to anyone so if someone happens upon it and reads it then they will have learned a lot about me.

something about just having a place to talk is comforting.

so about me. im 15, almost 16 and im from a smallish town in colorado. i feel like in the past 6 months or so ive changed a lot. im not the same person i used to be. i dont like the same things i used to. i dont have the same taste in music or clothes. i dont even really feel that i have absolutely anything in common with my friends anymore. i wish i could break out of my little group and just go and be friends with who i want to. im not popular but im not a complete outsider and for a long time, i had a hard time with that. i wanted to be the popular girl who had all the friends and could get any guy at school and all of that cliche crap, but ive finally accepted who i am. im kind of weird, i have a strange sense of humour. im obsessed with the past, i love anything with history. i used to be pretty run of the mill. but now people call me emo or scene or whatever. i dont know about that, i mean, i like what i like, i listen, wear, watch, and do what i want to. so call me what you will but as far as im concerned, im just me.