2008 will be the death of me

what do i have to show for anything?? one friend left?? i want to change and i want to branch out, but why does everyone have to break apart?? i lost my best friend today....i never thought this would happen. im gong to miss our inside jokes most of all. we understood eachother and were there for eachother always. i knew i would be ok just as long as we were friends. what do i have left?? im holding on to nothing. i have nothing left to give and nothing more to live for. ive lost it all in a matter of one year. ive lost my will to go on every day and put that smile on like everythings ok when all i want to do is cry. i hate who i am. i hate who everyone else has become.